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Roger's eyes

Roger has these really cool eyes. They kind of look around and never seem to land on you then when you just casually check them out, theyre staring you down. And its really really intense.

Sometimes Roger and I just give each other looks and don't say much at all. Especially when we're watching tv or listening to music.

Roger avoids eye contact with lots of people, but not usually with me or with Jim. Jim is one of those guys that stares right at you which I think is part of being a cop. Someimtes you wonder what hes' looking at.

Sometimes Roger just looks at the ring he gave me and I'll notice him doing it. I wear it all the time.
  • Current Music
    Green Day 'September'
love

Halloween was cool

It was great being with Brian and Jim on Halloween. Well, Roger and I handled the duties at home and we had 32 trick-or-treaters so that was really cool (not counting Chad and Katie, of course).

I can't think of the last time I did anything on Halloween except get stoned and listen to music.

Jim seemed in a tense mood but I think he ended up having a good time anyway. Brian was really into it.

So now we're watching the Medium marathon and Jims letting me use the computer because he posted a drabble already. He loves writing those drabbles. And the kids are asleep for now.

We finished the Harry Potter book over the weekend and that was really something. Now Chad is already nagging about starting the next one, but I think Jim wants to wait until we see the movie which we're saving up for. I think that's in about trhee weeks. Jim was complaining that the book was pretty violent but I dont know if Chad really minded.

Man, I'm hot. We need to let some air in here.
  • Current Music
    Medium music
big beautiful world

Working is okay

I don't mind working at all, even when I miss things around the house. Everybodys always so nice about it when I get home and so glad to see me. I love that minute when I walk in the door and somebody yells hello or comes running. Chad usually comes to see me unless he's asleep or playing a game with Jim. And sometimes Roger acts really casual and just gives me this, 'hey guy' thing with a sleepy look and I think its even hotter than if he grabbed me and gave me a big kiss.

Chad was in a funny mood today. He had to keep defending Brian and saying 'Daddy's not dumb'. I guess Brian was kidding that he was dummer than Jim, and it was like somebody had said Brian was dumb. He was really upset. I think sometimes he jsut gets so defensve of Brian because Brian was such a hero for him in his life. Nothing against Jim.

I wish I was as smart as either one of them.
  • Current Music
    Foo Fighters
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LJ stats

Brian and Jim are so funny keeping track of their posts and comments. I checked on my own and this is entry 14. I've made 109 comments and recieved 87 back. I think thats really good.

Roger and I had so much fun this weekend. Yeah he's learning how to have a good time. I don't think he's ever really known how to just kick back and go with the flow. We stayed out Friday night and did things Jim wouldn't approve of or allow at home. And I got Roger to dance in public, so I'm so proud! I wish I had Mistress M's icon!
  • Current Music
    aerosmith love in an elevator
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Journaling

I'm not good about answering my comments. Well I'm not good about any of this LJ thing but I just noticed I never comment back to the nice things people say when I post. Gotta think of that more often.

I also followed a couple links and commented on some stories. I need to do that more often too, especially for Brian and JIm of course.

So Roger and I had this talk last night and it turns out he thinks hes going to hell. He doesn't think we'll be together when we die because he's not gonna be in the same place as me. This freaks me out, first because I totally think we'll be together and second because Roger is a better person than he thinks he is. But I'm not really religious so what do I know about it.

Anyway I have to figure this out. I love Roger more all the time and I think his soul is really amazing.

FatJoey wrote something funny in his journal about "All You Need is Lurve" so I had to mention it.
  • Current Music
    Girls in White Satin
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Feeling weird

It was so weird to see Diana lying there on her favorite rug, knowing she wasn't sleeping. It took a second, really to get it. And it was so hard to go get Bri and tell him, I had to tell Roger first. And I felt bad because I couldn't help crying aboutit and making it worse for Brian.

Anyway, having Oscar be so sick was almost harder.

The whole thing is really cosmic in a way.

So I was pleased to welcome live2luv68 to my list of friends. I noticed ninahugo dumped me, but we had never commented to each other. I should drop a couple people off my list who haven't friended me back and I've never commented to but I'm still not ready to.

Can I say that earthquakes freak me out. I'm not used to it. Brian and Jim are like its no big deal. But for me it's scary. With all the bad weather it seems like the world is one big natural disaster, and I don't usually think that way at all. My heads in a weird place right now.
  • Current Music
    All American Rejects
big beautiful world

A ring

Roger gave me a ring yesterday. It's silver and articulated and it fits on my pointer. I think it means we're sort of engaged in a way. He also gave me this card (bookmark) that has a religious saying on it. (He's Catholic.)

I got him a cross yesterday and gave it to him.

I'm feeling really good about this. Roger is fitting in so well in everything right now, and he doesn't seem as quick to get mad about htings. He seems pretty happy. and he's getting along really well with Jim.

Anyway, I must have made 50 cheeseburgers the past three days and 20 of them we're here at home, lol! I don't know what they like abuot them, but there really popular.
  • Current Music
    Saturday Night Live
big beautiful world

Is this journal working?

Not sure what I'm doing here or sposed to be doing. I don't have much to say and I can't write fics and post them like Jim and Brian. And they do a better job talking about our life.

I don't even type for shit.

Anyway this was a nice relaxed weekend. I think Jim has really accepted Roger and it's great.

My only worry is how skinny and tired Diana is. I hope she holds out for a while longer.

I haven't felt this good about life in general for a long time, and I'm not sure I've ever really been happier. I wish I didn't fele like something bad will ahppen and change thigsn but I have to admit i do. And it sucks.

I think it's important to live in the moment. But the last couple years have made that hard for me.

I'm grateful to have the friends that come from Jim amd Brians journals because I havne't really made any on my own. I did add a couple people and one added me back. But I just don't stick with it much or know how to go out and find other friends. I know J&B love their LJs and I think its great. Roger and I just haven't really gotten into it as much.

I'm gonna try harder this week.
  • Current Music
    The Doors
big beautiful world

Firefly--

We ended up watching this movie tonight, Firefly. It's very different, Kevin Coster as a doctor whose wife is killed in Venezuela but starts having these other-wordly experiences with kids who say they've seen her. And he sees her himself and keeps getting presented this symbol that looks like a wiggly cross.

Anyway, if you havne't seen this movie and you don't want to know what happens, don't go under the cut. Collapse )

Jim and Brian both loved this movie. I could tell Jim was getting really frustrated toward the end, but the ending was a big payoff for all of us. So good.

'Chick flick' Jim said, but I know he liked it.
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Forcing myself to update

I'm bad about this journal. I try, but it's hard. I still havne't commented to Roger's post about us, and even with my tiny flist, I didn't get to it yet.

I need to cook today and take some of the pressure off Brian. He's got so much going on, and I've been a slacker lately.

Roger's body part I'm obsessing about today: Collapse )

Enough of that. I'll never be any help around here if I start thinking about Roger!
  • Current Music
    U2